054. afterglow

4 MONTHS AGO.

Ren Fei was a studious child. He came early to the Tian estate to do extra reading before his lessons with Yuhui. He found the Tian library far more calm than the study at his own family’s home and relaxed at one of the calligraphy desks, absorbed in the epic held in his hands.

Emboldened by his long night, Yuhui dared himself to carry on through his day without sleep. Dusted off under the cover of the freshly blooming morning, he crawled into his room hours ago and began guzzling tea. 

He greeted his fish at sunrise, sprinkling a few pellets of food atop the sparkling surface of the creature’s pond, then watched daybreak’s clouds split and welcome the light. The prince took a deep breath and calmed his heart, caught up with the fervency that left a lingering rattle in his bones.

Yuhui stayed that way for a while, contemplative and silently thrilled, undisturbed until he was made aware of his best friend’s presence in the library. He let Fei have his own quietude for a little while—the news Yu was intent on bringing him would surely distract that learned boy from whatever he was studying.

An hour later, Yuhui, hair damp from just having washed himself, spread his body straight across the pages of the book Fei was reading. His palms, scuffed and pink, grabbed the boy by the cheeks.

“Fei!” He whispered enthusiastically. “Guess what!”

Fei was trapped with his hands pinned to the desk by Yuhui’s body, still clutching the now crushed pages of his book. He couldn’t actually respond with a recognizable word but the sound that escaped his squished mouth was best interpreted as: “… what?”

“I met a boy!” Yuhui gently shook his friend’s face, unable to contain his excitement, like it was a tremor that he could make live in the other boy too.

The scholarly boy’s face would have registered disappointment if he had any degree of control over his facial features. For as long as he’d stayed by Yuhui’s side, how often had other boys caught his capricious eye? To some degree, the younger boy was glad for the contortion keeping his expression under wraps—it gave him the opportunity to take the information, internalize it, and drape himself in a best friend’s appropriate response. 

“Cool?” Fei tried to say but, in actuality, said: “Kwrruur?”

Yuhui released his hostage and rolled onto his back, arms stretching long before settling behind his head. The arch of his spine granted freedom to Fei’s trapped hands. He was dressed in a practical outfit, one fit for both studying and sparring, draperies neatly collected atop trousers waiting to be bloused into boots.

“He has a horse and her name is Turnip.” Yu’s dark eyes turned to watch his friend. “Isn’t that cute?”

Fei was flushed though it was difficult to ascertain the reason: the recent proximity, the soul searching stare, or the facial abuse he’d suffered. Instead of meeting Yuhui’s eyes, Fei made a scene of fussing with the crumpled book in his hands, trying to straighten a hundred pages bent by the Prince’s distraction. “Aah, Yu’er! The librarian’s never gonna let me in here alone again–!”

“No way, I’ll talk to her and tell her it was me,” Yuhui assured his friend, pushing himself up then off of the study desk. He leaned on his arms, bent forward to watch Fei dote upon the book’s pages. “She likes me. She knows you’re respectful to her books. It’ll be fine. You’re not gonna get your library privileges revoked.” He stuck his tongue out, playful in the guarantee.

His grumbles all faux, Fei gingerly ran his thumb up and down the seam of a folded page, like he was comforting the wounded tome, trying to heal the scar left by Yuhui’s abuse. He pouted. “Yu’errrrrrrr, I really liked this book.”

“You care more about books than you do about me.” The prince fell into an easy pout, standing up and turning away to look at another section of the library. “I was up this morning. You could have come and sat with me.”

“Why were you up so early?” Fei asked without thinking.

“I already told you,” Yuhui replied, louder with distance between them.

“Eeh? When did you get up if you met a boy this morning?” The implications still hadn’t clicked in the young scholar’s head.

“Yesterday morning.” Simple and quick, the prince took a seat by the library’s large windows, watching the goings on in the palace’s main courtyard.

“That doesn’t make sense, Yu, that means you didn’t sl–oh.” Fei suddenly understood everything. As though he knew the moment was meant to be hushed, Fei stood and crossed the library sitting at his friend’s side, all hushed whispers and conspiracy. “Did you sneak out last night?”

Yuhui nodded. “Yeah. I spent all night and early morning with him. I got back when the sun was just starting to come up so I decided to just stay awake and see what happens. He’s really nice, I like him a lot. He stole me an orange and did this really neat thing where he could like… send my chaos away. He sorta dispersed it while I was with him.”

“Is that why you like him? What’s his name?” Despite Yuhui’s admission to an overnight tryst with a stranger, Fei didn’t jump to any conclusions. After all, Yuhui liked plenty of other boys before. This one was no different than all the others who had come and, very suddenly, gone.

“There are a lot of reasons I like him. He has a good personality, he’s quick-witted and charming. He’s really handsome–” Yuhui turned toward Fei to impart his secrets with a renewed vigor. “His eyes are so sly and his hair is faded from the sun. He smokes hand-rolled cigarettes so he smells like flowers and destruction… hmm, he’s really wonderful.” Trailing off in a swoon disguised as a yawn, the prince’s eyes focused back on the outside. “His name is Lin’ai.”

“Lin’ai? Like Gui Lin’ai?” Fei asked, voice suddenly a concerned hiss of secrecy. Every clarification became more urgent with Fei’s trepidation. “Lin’ai, like the son of the Zhenxi swordmistress Gui Naohe who killed her husband? Lin’ai like Feng Quan’s cousin?” 

That last connection was the worst of the lot. Anything connected to Feng Quan was detestable in Fei’s mind.

“Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.” Yuhui’s spine straightened in a gesture that was unsure if he was being judged or not. “I dunno. I didn’t get his last name. He doesn’t act like a Feng. And whatever, his mother is a free woman. … If that is his mother.”

“Just be careful,” Fei offered as he leaned forward a little, more relaxed as he looked out the window. “Even if he’s a good guy, what’s Quan gonna do when he finds out his cousin is involved with a prince?”

“I didn’t give him my real name and he didn’t seem to recognize me,” Yuhui offered as some consolation. He shrugged. “I’ll be careful though.”